On Turning 30

Today is my birthday, and now I am 30. I'm okay with this. Really, I am. I actually look forward to my thirties. Not that my twenties completely sucked, but they certainly weren't exploding with everything grand and brilliant. There were definitely moments when life seemed perfect and beautiful. There were also times when I would have rather been someone else, doing something else, feeling something different. Don't we all feel that way sometimes? (Please tell me this is so.)

So, I am excited to face another decade and this next phase in life. Jon will finally be done with school soon…forever. Yesss. My kids are growing fast, and I have always been excited to be a mom of school-aged boys. In other words, I am glad the baby and toddler stages are behind me! Those weren't so easy for me. As for myself, I hope for a better attitude, more patience, and a lot more love.

Maybe I am disillusioned. Maybe my thirties won't be what I expect. Maybe they'll be worse. Life has a way of throwing curve balls at you. However, I do believe that I am an in control of my destiny. It might be because I just watched Invictus for the first time last week, but I love the poetry "I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul." That really sings to me. So come what may…it's all up to me.

I thought it quite poignant, but I heard a song this morning that has inevitably become my theme song…for at least toady. If you're 13, 30 or 63, enjoy.


Live Like Your Dying by Lenka

One of these days you'll be under the covers
You'll be under the table and you'll realize
That all of your days are numbered, all of them one to one hundred
All of them millions, all of them trillions

So what are you gonna do with them all?
You can not trade them in for more, no, no

Take every moment, you know that you own them
It's all you can do, use what's been given to you

Gimme a reason to fight the feeling
That there's nothing here for me
'Cause none of it's easy, I know it wasn't meant to be
I know it's all up to me, it's all up to me

So what am I gonna do with my time?

I'll take every moment, I know that I own them
It's all up to you to do whatever you choose
Live like you're dying and never stop trying
It's all you can do, use what's been given to you

All of the moments you didn't notice gone in the blink of an eye
And all of the feelings you can't help feeling no matter how you try

Take every moment, you know that you own them
It's all up to you to do whatever you choose
Live like you're dying and never stop trying
It's all you can do, use what's been given to you

Live like you're dying and never stop trying
It's all up to you, use what's been given to you