Dear Pepsi

Dear Pepsi,

We've been seeing each other for a long time now. It started when I was young, and it's been quite the love affair ever since. I know there have been times when I have hurt you. I have chosen to be "on a break," but I always come back to you. There is something about you that I just can't get enough of. I can't imagine life without you in it.

I wanted to take a minute and tell you some of the ways you have changed my life. You lift me up. You know those really crappy days when you're sad, tired, worn down, sad, frustrated and did I mention sad? Yeah, I have had quite a few of those. When I bring you into my life on those days, you can lift my spirits and help me cope with the crap. I love you for that! Your bubbles. There is something about the way it feels when your bubbles slide down my throat. It's euphoric. Come on, everyone—you know what I'm talking about! You taste so good. I don't know what special ingredients make you tick, but whatever they are...it's totally working for you! And me too ;)

BUT...

As most love affairs do—ours has moments. Moments when I am mad at you. Moments when I want to flush you down the toilet. It's not always bliss (despite what you may think). Sometimes you make me feel like crap. Like yesterday. I bought a 32 oz. fountain of my secret dirty combination of Wild Cherry and Diet. So good. Then I go to dinner and order more. I'm sorry. Too much of a good thing isn't good. I felt terrible when I left the restaurant. Thanks for that. You drain my wallet. A little here, a little there. If I could, I would count all the money I have spent on you. I could probably go buy a car. You are an expensive relationship! You make me bloat. It's true. My stomach is always flatter when I'm "on a break." I care about my body, yet you don't help me maintain it. Don't you care about me?

What's a girl to do?

After much deliberation I have come to my present conclusion. Despite the things about you that drive me crazy, I can't leave you...yet! I love you too much!

So, here's to our love-hate relationship! Cheers!

Love Always, B-la

PS. Now where can I find me a Max?

What is Christmas Spirit?

I've never struggled so much in getting into the Christmas spirit as I have this year. Christmas is only one week away, and I am still struggling to find it. I think it's just not going to happen this year. Maybe there is a reason for this. Maybe not. Regardless, this is not normal.

Usually I am super fussy about getting the Christmas tree just right. I let the kids help, but when they aren't looking, I move things around until I am perfectly happy with the tree. This year I didn't get out my favorite ornaments, I let the kids put all the ornaments on the tree, and I didn't adjust anything. I also usually put out the Christmas village. I didn't do that either. Lights on the house. No. Stockings hung. Nope. Christmas music. Not a chance. Garland. You guessed it. I didn't do any of that. It was all I could do to get out a few decorations.

The one thing I have done (that I haven't forced myself to do) is my holiday candy making. Go figure. Suckers, fudge and caramels. And trust me—I have eaten my fair share.

One of my favorite things about Christmas is giving gifts to my family and friends. Despite my lack of spirit, I have wanted to keep giving. However, I have felt like I have had little time to buy anything. My mom's been staying with me for the last few days and will be here through the holidays. Since I had done very little shopping, my mom practically forced me to shop ALL DAY LONG yesterday. It was good to have her push me along, because I think it is the only way I would've finished my shopping—for teachers, friends, family, the people I care about most. So, thanks mom, for kicking my butt in gear!

Maybe I don't have all the decorations out like I usually do. Maybe I am not really feeling it like I usually do. Maybe I didn't throw my annual all-out-super-awesome-ladies-night Christmas party like I have for the last six years…but I still think it can be a great Christmas. I can't wait to see my kids on that morning, and I hope the gifts I will have given to everyone will be meaningful. After all, that's all I have to offer this year!

MIA

Here I am...three weeks without a post. This was not part of the plan. (But when does anything go according to plan?) I promise I have a good explanation. I just can't write about it. Maybe someday, but not today. Emotions are running raw, and I simply don't trust myself not to write something I would regret later.

Honestly, I shoudn't write today. I think I am going to stop.